You just made me feel so damn special
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
