I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
being pregnant is like rehab
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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