He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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