I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
