why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
