He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
