btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
