at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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