Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
