Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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