I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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