i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
