So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
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