Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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