Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
