he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
