Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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