i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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