How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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