Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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