is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
