You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
