i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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