Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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