Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
