youre lurking in front of me
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
