Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
