How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
