i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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