I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
