I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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