Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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