I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
soo... how was my night?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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