She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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