I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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