I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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