I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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