hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
