lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
