I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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