Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
