Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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