i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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