Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
