I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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