My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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