ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
