ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
