I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
