not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
